this morning i woke up and debtaed getting out of bed... i have my period and just felt like staying in bed.. i have some sick days i could use and it was pouring out- not fun weather to walk.and wait for the bus in... let alone walk to work in.. and the idea of going back to sleep and waking up and just watching west wing seemed nice...
but i did get up... and wait in a thunder storm... and i tried to be in a good mood... but then i just wasnt...
henny is on a plane right now thats gonna take off soon...theyre moving to Israel and i really am happy for her but i also feel like one of the pple i feel closest to is moving so far away and it makes me feel less understood- like her proximity made my world better... shes one of the pple i can talk to and who i feel unconditional love from and who can make me laugh and doesnt judge me... and it 2 days after megan left for israel so i just feel very alone right now...
and then theres this whole political thing bc obama spoke in cairo and the world is freaking out and maybe theyre all right but i believe what i believe and i am who i am and im just tired of being judged and feeling like no guy will get me and who i am and being told that by others and whatever
so i was in a bad mood and so thought maybe a sex on the beach would help and maybe it did except then i spoke to henny and that just made me cry and now im just rambling but its my blog and no one is keeping u here so whatevwr..
so i spend my time ignoring life and focusing on west wing fic and anderson cooper but its not getting me any closer to my goals but then i dont even know what those goals are or what direction i want my life to take...
yeah ok thats it.. i just got off the bus... back in passaic...
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